Well then as thing's seem to go, I have taken a HUGE plunge into a fresh new start on an alien planet I believe they call New Mexico. Listen kid's... the rough & mean streets of Los Angeles CA are really no friggin' joke... and especially when they have somehow worked thier way into the sanctity of one's own home. The detail's are sordid in this tale and frankly are better forgotton. I assume though however that they may eventually lead to some pretty intense and emotional artwork. Once the wounds have healed and the unpacking is all finished. But here's to beautiful new beginning's...and some really beautiful sunsets. I'll keep you all posted.

Been offline for awhile...it's so hot this summer and I live near the beach in lovely Venice Beach Cali...bitches! (really it's meant in the nicest way) But still ... it's summer and all so kinda like vacation, at least in my mind , and I suppose that's all that matters really. I have of course been creating a bit though and when the heat and sun dissapear into the coming of fall... I'll be back from my summer love and summer retereat to show you all of the thing's that I have seen. Kiss... kiss... till then.

At time's I think I am most comfortable in a inadequate and mundane shield of denial... I am aware of it's neverchanging cycle and yet as human nature is so fond of provin... I am warm and fuzzy and content with it's familiarity. Duh. I never will understand the reason's for our seemingly spontaneous blindness to the obstacle's we find as we travel pathway's in our live's...just sitting there, enormous and steadfast and totally in our way. And the justification for alm,ost welcoming the larger than imaginable anchor that we almost suddenly one day while minding our own business, find clamped around our ankle's or varying other limbs somehow left vulnerable for it's stronghold...is increduously a reoccurance that puzzles me and confuses me straight into dizziness. I amd in the throes of these big bad boogie monster's and have until now made okay thier familiar ugly faces... reciting the stranger than fiction notion's they talk to me about over and over and out of habit, almost believing they are real...

Into what sort of tomorrow would that lead...? Well if anything and after it all is said and done, I have to remember that I don't believe in monster's or the boogeyman as creatuire's or seperate living thing's than I am.. We are the same...and it is ridiculous trying to scare myself and using fear tactics to exhibit self contol. I guess I mean that I am not afraid...or controlled by the scary unknown of it all... I will not be dragged down and nothing will stand in my way. I am not listening to the lie's for one second longer and have no more time to sit through this same old overtold, played out, uncomfortable uneventful going nowhere fast fable. It's my time for now and into tomorrow... I am the possibility of my creation infinite unbridled desire and the one step I now get to take onto a path of anywhere and anything could happen.

Blessed by the coming of every tomorrow...

~M~

We've been up the 3 of us all night...doing all the regular stuff we really like to do, and some of the more secretive type stuff too. We had a fire in the backyard pit and lit the rest of the yard with candles ...we took turns poking @ the logs and myb fav orite, dousing the flames with lighter fluid...finally burnibg delapitated old furniture and 3 years of unimportant unopened mail from the table byu the door. I had to sort through it anyway's...but paper thing's really make alot of smoke that I know my nieghbor upstair's isn't fond of. I guess we're even. I've lived underneath him and the virtual creation of his first album... a least I'm pretty sure it's the first...it is at least his masterpiece. And all of the chords he's played over and over in all genre's varying decible's. He's talented though, very...so I forgive him. So after ALL of our smoking and when the old furniture and all of the mail was gone and I made it through a Forest Whitaker movie that I had been violated by then a few flicks I probably should feel violated by( but truthfully am not)I think physical exhaustion had crept over us from hours of weaving in and out of my overpriced and undersmall apartment in Venice lot's of sssh'ing and basic tiptoe-ing around and dodging the 2 dog's who are not small and not real into seperation from "the pack"...plus a small sugar coma and the haziness of all that we are as friends and people and then just simply all of the life and all of the "all of it" that we share. And thanx to a particularly nasty cold I caught from my boyfriend, and a way too huge amount of laundry I'm spent and should I be tired.....? Too many surprises and inspirations and played out passionate beautiful electricity of an impending spring and it's fever.
I have not felt so awake in recent days...